Thursday, December 31, 2009

ShattEredPieceS

I tried to be perfect,
But nothing was worth it,
I don’t believe it makes me real.
I thought it’d be easy,
But no one believes me,
I meant all the things I said.

This place is so empty,
My thoughts are so tempting,
I don’t know how it got so bad.
Sometimes it’s so crazy,
that nothing can save me,
But it’s the only thing that I have.

If you believe it’s in my soul,
I’d say all the words that I know,
Just to see if it would show,
That I'm trying to let you know,
That I’m better off on my own.

PisSeD ofF.

30DeC2009..WeDneSday..Mid Valley

the day i met my chatrooms frens..it was exciting but at one time..i felt a bit confuse with myself..i felt angry at my dad..i told him earlier that i want to spend the whole day with my frens.dem. he kept asking me to come back.calling n calling until i fed up. so i came home early. i dun hve enough time to watch my frens playing bowling.sigh.i was frustrated.dem really frustrated.coz its not easy to meet them! they came all the way from kuala trengganu just to gather with us!
room ganu 1 = room selangor 7....

hoping that the time we spent was enough to know each other n tighten our relationship. but i cant.i am really sorry guys!i hope we can meet more next time..do come visit us often! we greet all of u with open arms:D >:D<

i dont want to write detail on what my thoughts are playing right now.its a sensitive issue. let just keep it to myself.

let me share an incident in the bus i face on my way back home.

when the bus arrive, its already full. every seat in the bus were occupied. so i just standing (eventhough my legs cramp already!). i looked around the seats existed.majority of them were guys! looked perfectly healthy plus they even took a sleep. i almost took a video of a man in there..he slept too well until he drops his mouth water(airliur..hahaha..btol ke aku ckp ni???hahahaha)


guys..where's ur manners?? there are some old folks standing in the bus. but nobody want to give a seat to them..poor malaysian people! where is the manners we trying to keep n care? where is the truly 1Malaysia that been provoke all over the nation? enough this all bullshit. 1Malaysia is like nothing..people still dont care bout each other. young people dont have respects towards adults. dats wat i think the first time i saw those situation.

turn back to me. i did felt angry to my dad. do i have the respects toward adults??
im speechless.. talk to myself. dont u dare trying to judge people before u see yourself first! im sitting my self on the stair in the bus. thats the only strategic place to clear my mind from crazy toughts. im into my world again. watching peoples. staring the moment which i dunno when will i see again afterwards.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

My WorLd

life becomes miserable when lots of barriers pops up. everybody will face it. including me.

so many types of barriers come..due to love..money..family..work..study..urgghhh!!

y? why?? God makes all this for us?? y should we have it? why we cant have a happily ever after life like in the story...

There must b a reason..

god wants to tell us..

if people betray u..God never betray u

if u dont have money to live...God show u the way to preach..

if ur family didnt take a good care on u..He the one who care for u soo much..


im saying this to encourage the lost of me..im lost..searching..searching for i dun noe what??

crying is just a way to relief everything..i need to b tough at the moment..

the moment i try to hold tight to sumone's arm..

but i cant.

hoping time will tell everything.

hoping hopes will cure the sorrow.

hoping life will begin without pain.

through out the new days of new year.

will i ever b strong enough to succeed?

will i cure the bleed in my broken pieces?

StrOng.HopE.

tangles together.

i rather die..i rather flew away..now im off..into my world again.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

sedih...kecewa.

masalah..masalah...*geleng pale*

ni laa masalah kalo negara kite sentiase dihujani pendatang asing..nk2 kalo dri belah2 yg susa nk paham bahase kite..mcm2 prob leh tercetus..hrini aku n family p sopping kt sebuah pasaraya yg menjual barang2 dgn begitu murah sekali..! sungguh asyik jika membeli di sane..seperti mahu membeli smuanya...kerna begitu murah!

masalah mall ni...pekerja dy majoriti nye org lua..bangla or nepal...jadi terjadi lah situasi yg agak sengal ...antara abg aku dan penimbang sayur di pasaraya berkenaan...

abang: bro,cili ni tak payah timbang eh??

mat bangla: payah, payah...

abang: ??????( bg jugak cili kt penimbang itu..)


nasib baik abg aku paham ngan mksud si penimbang itu..jika tidak, mau abg aku men timbang cili gune penimbang manusia(-.-!)

Monday, December 21, 2009

Pe aku buat hari ni??

harini..hmmmmmm aku p kenduri kawin sepupu aku..kt Sri Gombak..

aku ase...ni aa pengalaman kenduri kawen paling sempoi penah aku g..myb sbb pengantin nye dh lme nikah..bru nk bersanding skang...aku xtahan tgk muke spupu aku mse ngah bersanding..malu2 kucing kunun..pigidah...hahaha..tp aku xsempat nk rakam babak2 beliau tersengih seperti kucing gatal itu...kerna mse tuu aku menjage anak buah aku..
nyesal pule rasenye xsnap..kerna muke beliau mmg bak kucing gatal serta merah2 kemaluan.. lets cek it out pic mse dy n bini dy ngah mam beradab...



ni lak anak2 abg ngah aku yg sengal...kehkeh..




to Ahmad Hasbie..aok jage bini aok tu leklok okeh....moge bahagia hingga ke anak cucu hendaknye...malah smp ke akhir hayat korang...Lina..jage spupu aku tuu tau..(mcm laa korang bce blog aku...) haha.-end-

gelagat si kenit....

sje nk upload kisah anak buah ku yg bru dapat kaki nk berjalan...eleh..dh berlari pom..
tp masalah beliau, kaki pendek..pastu berat je nk menapak..bile lari mmg xangkat kaki abis...pahtu jatuh.

budak iskandar ni mmg nakal..nampak je katik..bab jalan nombor 1!!!! 1 hari xkua umah mmg dy ngamok..ni kisah kelmarin..akak aku tido umah..laki dy keje malam...tp bese r,,ktorang niaga..jd akak ak n anak2 dy sume lepak ngan aku n abg2 ak kt gerai..duk umah pom busan je..tv rosak..plus...iskandar mmg kaki jalan...nnt dy ngamok klo lepak umah Wan De je..haha

dy jalan je sekeliling gerai...sume mende dy nk usik...last2..dy duduk kt bakul pinggan mangkuk...aku usya je dy duk henjut2 kt bucu bakul tu...dlm ati dh ckp..ni budak ni satg jatoh ni...

tup tup...



jatoh btol2...kah kah kah...aku cpt2 amik sedas..siap suh akak ak jgn angkat dy lagi...kehkeh...iskandar2..macam2 laa kamu...ni bwah ni dy duk hangguk2 pale..nk nyanyi lom pandai ckp..jd bile org nyanyi or dy dgr lagu yg dy ske, dy layan pale..sori vid gelap sket..:D

Sunday, December 13, 2009

mase dah time~~

huuuu....sedar xsedar...sem bru dh nk mule..mls nye nk study lagiiiiii~~!!!
malas nk rempit dri umah ke uitm:(
penat laa...sakit pinggang..nk hadapi jem..nk cilok2...aargh..klo dekat xpe..ni x..klo pling cepat 20 menet!!!
clas sume pg jew..waaaaaaaa.....sik muke ni je kne maki ngan lecturer:(...
neway...hri ni bpe hb ek??jap2 lupe plaks..emmm dh msuk 13dec:D
2hari lepas, den nengok result kt web uitm..perggghh..mencabar tol mse nk msuk tuu!!!
jem yg amat!!
dengan berdebpr nye..seram sejuk jew nk tgk...wuuuuuuu...
at last dpt gak tgk..well result ku xgempak langsung~!
jepun jew yg dpt A+ waaaa =((
ni sume sbb hormon xstabil mse final:(
xpelah..redha jew...azam bru neh, nk cube yg terbaek nex sem n so on...ade agi 3 sem!! ganbatte ne~~
sbb ade org yg bg smangat :>

pade orang tuu....time kasih:D

mls laa nk wat ucapan trime kasih panjang bjela..ckup aa dlm hati dh ckap..hehe...
papepon..congrats to my classmates yg sume nye lulus2 blake...chaiyok2 nex sem ok!

p/s : mak aku xcaye ak leh dpt result tu...sbb aku asik tido je mase final..muhahahaha..ak bersyukur.alhamdulillah~

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

E.M.O.

aku xtau nape..due tige ari ni..sik nk ngarok je...ase sunyi sepi lak idop..ase xterurus...ase bz...smp ase terkongkong...salah ke hidup terkongkong??argh..kengkadang ak marah klo aku dikongkong..tp...bile pk2 blik...ade reason parents aku buat cmtu..tu sume ntok kebaikan..
tpi...

mse ak rase dikongkong..aku ase sgt marah..ya Allah bnyk tol dosa aku..bile aku fikir..
mse2 aku rase marah sgt ngan parents aku..bpe bnyk dose dh aku tmbh..bpe bnyk titik hitam yg membesar kt hati keras aku nii..npe aku xsebaik wanita2 solehah kt luar sane?
nape aku xmampu? aku slalu marah diri aku...dose aku banyak...kengkadang time masak kt dapo..bile terkena setitik percikan minyak panas, aku dh mengglupur..
cmne agaknye aku terseksa kt alam akhirat kelak??yg apinye 7x gande panas dari api kt dunia ni??subhanallah...aku hanye mampu menangis dalam hati..entah..knape aku xmule kn langkah?kenape aku ske membatukn diri je?

aku masih terkilan..aku terkilan ngan diri aku sendiri..hari dh makin suntuk..dunia dh makin tua...bnyk kematian berlaku dri sehari ke sehari..tgk brite terbaru..4beradik meninggal skaligus..tersentap wey..bayang kn kite dlm situasi family tuu...xsangkke..aktiviti sekeluarge yg dianggap akn jd detik kegembiraan bersame, bertukar jdi kepiluan yg sgt merana jiwe..
kematian leh wat aku tersentap..cmne klo aku hilang org tsayang dlm family aku?cmne aku nk idop..aku sgt2 bergantung harap kt mak ayah aku..

mak, ayah...

ija bnyak wat dose kat mak ayah...bnyk jd beban mak n ayah...ija xtau nk minx ampun cmne lagi..Allah je tau betape ija nyesal ngan sume yg penah jd dlm family kite...
walau ija nanges airmata darah skali pon...mase xkan berpatah balik...

ija slalu abaikan ayat ni.."mase xkan boleh diulang"... ija anggap, ah, mmg laa..sape pedulik ngan mase2 yg lepas???? tp skang ija peduli...ija nk mse lepas tu..ija nk mase ija form 3..supaya ija leh dpt kn 8A..supaya mak ayah gembire ngan kejayaan ija..ija nk ulang SPM...supaya ija dpt penuhkn A dlm result..supaya ija dpt blaja tinggi cm dekwan..tp ija xmampu ulang..ija xmampu jd seperti adik ija yg sorang tuuu..

td...ija ase ija kecewa kn ayah lgi...ntah..ija dpt rase kn ayah marah..clumsy nye ija..careless nye ija...ija minx maaf...ija mmg dungu, ayah...ija xmampu buat yg terbaik...ija syg ayah..syg sgt..ija syg mak..syg sgt..ija harap..Allah akn berikan yg terbaik dlm hidup kite..sebelum kite sume pergi bertemu Dia..ija harap ija dpt buktikan betapa ija syg mak n ayah..adus..tertitis lak airmate ni..

dh laa..out dlu...lepak kt room selangor7 ...ade yayunk ku :* n ras...:D
mereka laa penghibur ku..thnx smua..sayang korang....mmmuuuaaahhx!

Monday, December 7, 2009

S.U.G.H.O.I

きょう の テスト わ とても たいへん でした! ほんと むずかしかったです!!!!

gile gile.....gile..aaaaaaaa....ase nk lari setempat..yah yah yah...
ade gaye shuffle x?haha...dem2..bile sewel dh datang...argghhhh.....
padan muke kt diri sendiri....

cm aku dh cite kt post sblum ni...aku dh daftr exam japan tuu mse bulan 8 hritu..tp ak xbpe nk struggle...ak lak lupe cmne format paper dy..pergh pergh..
first paper wa dh dpt tulisan kanji..kanji!!! aaaaaa..aaaa...harini aku histeria...
aku memang boikot sket kanji ni...huff huff...kt uitm mne de blaja kanji..!!! mase kt skola dlu je ade..gile..bpe tahun dh tnggalkn skola....sedang kn formula math pon ak lupe..ni kn plak tulisan kanji jepun...ak dpt paper 1 tu tros ak fedup nk jawab..ase cm nk kua dewan time tuu jugak!!

dh laa majority yg amik dak cine..gugup aku nk jawab...sume muke stok konpiden....
aku ni??? ngan bgun lewat nye td..muke ngah toye2 bru bgun tdo, nk jwab kanji..kirim sori laaa~~~

dem2.aku berbisik sendirian...xpe ija...taun depan ade lagi(sensei kate stat taun depan level jepun nye exam akn ditambah...) dem2....aku keciwe..wuuuuwuuuuu..lgi laa lmbt aku nk mencapai tahap lev 1..(mampu ke??level4 pon aku dh terkincit2 jawab..brrppbrrpp)

dh laa..nk g tekap muke kt bantal lelame..bye~

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Any Beseri~~~

huuuu.....paHam ke tjuk post ku kali ni??

mksud ku...anniversary sbenanye......

congrats to my mak n ayah...mereka telah menyambut ulangtahun perkahwinan yg ke 36!!!

lame tuu..xramai yg leh menjangkau usia pkahwinan selame itu..org zaman dolu2 je yg hebat gua ase..(hebat tang mane tuu?theeheeheee)

gua tgk, abg gua sorang dh gagal...:-s...sorang ondeway...:-w....
ntah..susa ke nk jge hubungan skang ni??
sape yg salah dlm soal ni??laki or pompuan???
adekah pmpn terlalu demanding?atau lelaki???
wa lum smp tahap ntok pikir mende2 cmni...wa pon bru kene tinggal...huhahuha...apesal laa blog wa ni sik cite kisah jiwang2?
ah mlas makcik nk layan.. moh kite tuko topik..

sok wa ade exam...mesti pelik kn??UiTM dh cuti beb...dh bpe minggu cuti..xkn ade exam lagi??ade yg xcaye..kate wa sje xnk deting ngan dy sebab mne de org wat exam hari ahad!!
beb..ade laaa...org jepun mne tau erti cuti..sok wa ade exam bahase Jepun...Level 4...nme exam tuu Japaneses Language Proficiency Test. exam jepun ni ade 4level...level paling bawah dipanggil level4...then naek level 3, 2 dan paling tinggi level 1...terbalik sket ngan sistem bahase yg lain..klo tmpt len level first kite mesti level 1 kn kn?

wa dh penah amik sbenanye mse form 4 dlu..tp...grammar wa xbtol lgi:-s
mse tuu wa nye grammar rendah.sket je lgi nk lulus...wa sje test amik lgi tahun ni....xtau aa dpt jawab ke x..wa tawakal je laa..haha
sebab..wa dh daftr sejak bulan 8!!! tp wa bru stat study semalam....hahahhaa..aii xde mase laa yuuuu....:-j...mlm ni plak niaga plus smbut anniversary mak ayah...msak laa ciken cop..ade laa lam 15 portions harini..penat xterkate...tsk~
tu yg pk nk tawakal je sok...korg sume, sile doa ntok ija k!!
kalo bjaye, leh lanje korg ciken cop free~~:D

cm dh pnjang aii bercrite ni...out dlu laa..heeeheeee...